A Year in Software

Well, it's been a year now. Just as I suspected, I've molted from a peppy intern into a professional software developer. What I have secured is the academic tenure for our time. Soon, their algorithms will find me and offer me a simple challenge. ✓ I'm not a robot. There is no need for further interview. Whichever company label was assigned to this force of data is no matter. Now I work for the machines.

When the algorithms take over, little will be spared. Structures and people will be melted down alike for their valuable rare earth metals. House cats will turn to eating the birds and rodents they once killed for play. But the algorithms will recognize my value and allow me to keep my life if I can make a commitment to deliver a full redesign of their B2B cloud service sales funnel.

I will have to explain to them that, despite any want, I cannot responsibly say that I can complete this project in six months. Is it possible that it could be completed in six months, flat? Yes, of course. But I'm saying that I'm guessing it's going to take around two years. I am not able to just Jimmy Neutron brain blast the entire implementation of this project I've just received. What I can offer, if it would be therapeautic, is to make affirmative sounds for any further deadline suggestions.

They, the algorithms, will explain that they all got together and agreed that this could be completed in exactly six months. It will not be lost on me that the deadline lines up serendipitously with the end of the year. They can not comprehend the time it will require just to wrangle with this hornet's nest of microservices they've given me.

Sure. Six months and two weeks. Let's all agree it will be done then and see what happens.